Ok... So usually when I try to tell people my problem, I leave out a few details. BUT, since I kind of retain some anonominity, I'll try to recollect every detail and be as truthful as possible.

(Also, this is to enlighten up on This Thread since it was written w/o much explanation. Also, I don't think the situation is/was as serious as I was making it out to be, because I wrote it w/ a lot of emotions being played with...)

Ok, so things started out on myspace. This girl messages me, we talk a little bit, and I ask how I know her. She tells me I don't, she just thought I was cute. So I was like, w/e, this will be harmless. Turns out, she ended up going to the same college as me, so things opened up for possible relations.

It started out with us talking on the phone. We would literally talk about three hours a night, all small talk, somewhat flirtatious, but nothing too serious.

Eventually, we decide we should meet up. So I go to her place and hang out. We hang out almost every day for about 4-6 hours a day. This girl is cute, funny, actually has a personality, and I start to fall for her.

I eventually find out that she had recently broke up w/ her boyfriend of three years about two weeks before.

Anyways, one day we're hanging out, and decide to go get something to eat. We come back, hang out some more, and she's chatting w/ her roomate on facebook. I'm curious what they're saying because they keep looking at me and laughing. I turn it into a joke, and I think things are going well. I go home that night, and she messages me on aim. She tells me she really wants to tell me what they were saying because she feels bad for keeping it a secret. She drops a bomb and says they were talking about how cute/sweet I am and how she likes me a lot. She asks if I like her and I'm honest, I tell her yes. "Haha, well I'm going to bed, if I can ever get this smile off my face" is her response. I think, sweet, this could work out, and go to bed myself.

We go to a party on friday, but since she doesn't feel comfortable, I decide we'll leave. I walk her home, she forgot her keys w/ her roomie (still at the party), so we go back to my place to hang out until she gets back. We ended up hanging out until 5 in the morning. Wow, I really like this girl.

BUT, after this point, things go sour.

The next day, I'm talking to her, and she says she has to be honest with me. She says she might still have feelings for her ex. After this point we don't talk as much (but still talk).

*background info* She has told me in the past several times how much better of a guy I am than her ex, tells all her friends how much better of I guy I am than her ex, and tells her family how much better of a guy I am of her ex.

So anyways, move forward a week, I start questioning whether I should keep trying. I go out to eat w/ her roomie and one of her friends, and they tell me she told her she might be questioning if she likes me friday night. Turns out she talked to her ex that night after I left her place at around 5 or so...

I've talked to her about the situation, talked to her about my emotions and asked about hers. She said she likes me, but she's still unsure about everything.

AND, now recently, she acts like she doesn't have time for me. Whenever I call to see if she wants to go eat or hangout, she says no because she's doing other stuff. I said I got all day, she still says no... BUT, even though she doesn't have time to hangout w/ me, she still has time to go hang out w/ other people @ the bars and stuff.

I'm upset and confused, ask her whats going on, and doesn't ever answer in a meaningful way or anything. We don't talk nearly as much, because whenever I call, she acts like she doesn't have time for me. She doesn't want to hang out. And when she says she'll call back, she never does. Although, when we do talk, it's still always friendly and flirtatious.

Fast forward to tonight, she recently changed her facebook status to "Idk if he still likes me"... I call her to ask about it (because we don't talk nearly as much), and she says she's hanging out with people and has to go. On the phone for about 10 seconds, she'll call me back. She never does.

So now I ask you people- Do you think I should keep trying to get with this girl? I mean, I really like her, I feel stronger/more attracted to this girl than any other I've ever met/went out with. But with all this going on, with all my friends and her room mate telling me she treats me like shit (maybe I'm naive and not seeing it) and just being heart torn about the situation, I don't know what to do. I want to keep persuing relations, but I don't know if it's worth it or if it's smart...

*also, quick note- I've tried the not talking to her thing. But she always calls/IM's me making sure I'm not mad at her for some reason because she still wants me to like her...

What do you guys/gals think?

(sorry, didn't realize I had typed so much XD)

do not
do not
do not
follow this girl



She is IMing and calling you when SHE FEELS like it to know that she still has you by the balls.
You be the man and step up and say "listen if you like me and want to pursue something with me give me a call when you sort out all this stuff with your ex" period.

You being the dumb dog that comes back and calls her is just feeding her ego. She will continue this until you stop it.


Me personally wouldn't even bother cause i dont want to deal with an ex of 3 years thats to much baggage

therapy over aim =p

This is definitely not the girl you want for a relationship. She only calls you when she needs you. Feelings should be mutual. She doesnt show it. She can either play the game fair with you, or she can move on. Shes not playing fair is a hint.

what everyone else said man. she's using you for the affection

Just stop

I have two friends who have gone through this.
For the first guy, the girl was the innocent type, we all thought they were going out from they way they acted. Then she broke up with him and in fact claimed that they were never actually going out, that she never actually agreed to anything. He was heartbroken, but didn't give up. He still liked her, still asked her to hang out with him. She hung out with him. We all thought that she was being too nice, told her that she would have to put her foot down and tell him that it's over. Eventually, we found out that she was actually leading him on, while making him seem like the bad guy to the rest of us. I talked to her, found out that she didn't really like him, but that he's a good friend and "well... it makes me feel good that he likes me and I don't want to lose that" (her words)

For the second guy, girl wasn't bad looking and was outgoing. He's the low self-esteem type. She flirts with him, acts like she likes him, tells him that she likes him. At first he didn't like her, told her so, she didn't give up, he was eventually flattered into liking her. Tells her that he likes her back, but she says that they shouldn't go out because they lived on the same floor in college and if they ended up breaking up it would be bad for the floor (or something like that). He goes along with it, while she flirts with other guys. Also, there's another guy who likes her. She claims that she doesn't like him, but hangs out with him all the time, goes to the zoo with him (lets him pay for her), goes eat dinner with him (lets him pay for her) etc.
My friend asks her about it, she still claims that there's nothing between her and the other guy. Friend asks her to hang out more but oops, she's busy, sorry. He gets fed up, doesn't talk to her for a bit. She IMs him and goes to find him and asks him to hang out. He caves. Repeat. I get fed up and talk to him, tell him that he caves in too easily. Tell him that she's going to do it again and piss him off badly. Also tell him that if he doesn't cave in as soon as she likes, she'll turn on the waterworks. It all happens the next week. He finally sees the truth, heartbroken and kinda bitter. End of story.

Here's your case

She calls/IMs you when -she- wants to talk to you
She calls/IMs you to make sure you're not upset with -her-
She calls/IMs you "because she still wants [you] to like her..."

It's like by calling/IMing you, she's dangling out a bone of affection in front of your face and making you jump for it for her amusement. Don't let her manipulate you like that. You'll just end up getting hurt and not seeing other potential girls who are better than her.

She's always busy doing something else while you have all day
She never calls you back when she says she will

You do the giving, she does the taking. I don't see her do any giving at all. Also doesn't keep her word. Doesn't look too promising even if you two do end up together

If you really do want to go out with her, do what cleric suggested. Tell her to talk to you after she figures stuff out about her ex. Until then, just treat her as a friend and stop flirting with her. If you can't do that, avoid her until she figures stuff out.

However, I suggest that you give up on this girl. She doesn't seem to be really worth the effort

I appreciate all of your input. Haha, it's sad that you people are 20x better at giving advice than my friends...

So anyways, I guess it isn't coincidence everyone is saying the same thing. I cut it off today, I'm tired of her shit. Haha, still feels bad, but I know it should be better for me in the long run.

Thanks to all of you. The idea of doing it has been in the back of my mind, but with all of your input I put it into action =D

Haha! Good news! (if you want to call it that)

I was smoking hookah w/ her roomie again today, and turns out that facebook status IS ABOUT A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GUY!

Haha, no doubt in my mind now that moving on the THE BEST thing to do. WEWT WEWT!