I rarely post about my personal life online but there's a bunch of drama and stress going on with my friends at the moment.

Anyways, something I swore I'd never do was date a guy in the Navy. And he's going on deployment. Like, right now. And that really blows.

So. Anyone else have experience with this? Are the first few days the worst? Does it get easier to deal with? I'm a fairly tough girl but I also never thought I'd fall this hard for anyone. I feel like I'm breaking and going through withdrawals or something.

Oh, love. *hug* Dating a man in the military is haaard. I haven't ever personally had that experience but a friend of mine is a Navy wife and it's even harder since they're married and she's got to go months at a time without seeing him.

Speaking from experience, the first couple of weeks are by far the worst. It really feels like physical withdrawal, not just emotional & mental. Even if you're a tough person by nature & usually pretty strong, it's hard when you're that close to someone and can't have them close by.

It does get easier to deal with over time. Missing your significant other never really goes away completely, but you have to live your own daily life & still take joy out of things, otherwise you'll be depressed a lot. Going on with your own life makes the time go by faster, and on days when it gets bad, talk to someone about it.

But if it's worth it, and your relationship is worth enduring the distance because a shorter time together with someone you really want to be with is, to you, better than an unbroken, longer time with someone you don't feel as strongly about, then you can stick through it.

As for my Navy-wife friend, I know she survives with the support of her family, other military wives & girlfriends, and our whole silly dysfunctional flock of girls & women in long-distance relationships of various kinds, often international, at this Facebook group here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2212334825

I don't know if you have an account, but I help moderate/admin for that group, & being able to vent your concerns is priceless. There are tons of people in similar situations & reading what other people have to say is really helpful at times.

There's nothing like good ol' straight-up commiseration. (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) IM or e-mail/message me if ever you want to talk. I feel for you, hard.

AIM: celiraofwind
E-mail: celira@gmail

I'm gonna be a real downer and say this... one of the most common stories I hear from Navy guys is how their wife left them without notice while on deployment or was cheating on them while they were on deployment. It's hard for both sides but usually hurts one way more than the other. I have no useful advice except to say that Lira always does =)

That was quite possibly one of the most emotionally trying weeks I've ever been conscious for. His boat was broken, so they kept having to delay. So every single night that he came home, it was like "I don't know if this is good bye for tonight, or a month, or 5 months". Still don't know if he comes back in a month or in November. Ugh. But FINALLY they left on Friday. And I had to do a burlesque show that night, and saw another show the next night. Spent Sunday recovering. Spent Monday recovering. And today well... kept busy.

Although now I'm stuck doing laundry and his clothes are all over my room. I dunno if I want to wash them. And they're making me cry. Ugh.

Yeah. I was never supposed to fall this hard, this quickly, ever, for anyone. WTF?!?!?! At least I'm not breaking down every five minutes like I was last week. *sigh*

Im guessing hes on a surface ship him being in jacks and all. only thing i can tell you is if you care dont give up on him, ive seen my buds go through alot of stuff due to thier girls cheating and such while they were gone. it may hurt while they are gone but homecoming is the most emotional and best day ever. i dated a navy girl for a while there and i know how it is.

You'll get over it. Bite the bullet and suck it up.
And I highly doubt you're as infatuated as you think you are.

Oi. She posted to ask for advice. If you can't contribute, then leave the snark to yourself. Neither do we have the right to judge what she thinks she feels. Or do you know her better than she knows herself?

Lira - that made me laugh. Thanks.

But, nah, he's stationed in St. Mary's. Submarine. He was on the surface for all of like 2 hours.

And Sailor Mail is slooooooooooooooow.

To Syringe:



This is posted at the very top of this particular section of the forums. Some of us snark a little bit, but for the most part we ask people to at least respect each other. As Lira said, if you don't have anything to contribute aside from verbal harassment, then just stay away from it.

To angelantigone

The first few days after being with each other are always the hardest. I went from pretty much being with my boyfriend at least three or four days out of the week to.. him moving off to Colorado at the end of last month. I've had three other long distance relationships. None have been as emotionally trying as the one I am in right now in regards to separation, so I hear you.

It does get easier as time goes on though to a certain extent. People deal with the distance and the emotional gap in different ways, but knowing that there is someone to talk to out there always helps.

If you need to vent and Lira isn't around, I'm usually online too (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

well with me being in the army and away from my wife it was really hard at first but all in all you realize that its not going to last for ever and all you can do to make it easy is take it one day at a time, and to the comment up top about wifes leaving and cheating or what ever thats called a 'Jody' Jody is the name of the guy bangin your wife. Yup but as long as you stay faithful you'll be fine all in all it doesnt get easier but more tolerable.

=/ As a Marine away from home, I can relate to and give you your bf's point of view. He misses you, and EVERYTHING else. I'm not taking away from the fact that you miss him as not being a significant loss, but for you, he's the only thing missing. For him, his whole life is missing. I'm telling you this because, you need to be strong for him. He feels the same way you do, but the times where you say you're ok, maybe he doesn't have that because instead of missing you, he misses his family or friends, or something else. Hope that makes sense, so he may not have "a break" from the withdrawal as much as you.

I don't have a girlfriend anymore, she broke up with me last deployment, and I didn't even see it coming.(Lets just say I thought things were going so good that I had a ring for when I got back.. (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/D.gif) .....) But I still miss ALOT of things, especially my friends. I went from txting them everyday to when I get time off hopeing their timezone lines up to where they'd be on. Katt can vouch for that (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) .

I'm not saying don't hurt, don't be sad. But if you are as crazy about this guy as you say, then stick through it, what's months compared to the rest of your lives? (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Also, any LOYAL military spouse/partner are probably the strongest people i know and I hold them in such high regard.

Hope this helped, and good luck with the deployment.

I'm actually doing shockingly well now. Planning the welcome back shindig, his farewell shindig won't happen because he'll be watching me right after i have surgery done... but we're tough people. i've dealt with much worse. and i do get to send him pictures and stuff whenever he's topside. sent him all my cell phone pics from EDC and such. it's the next deployment that's difficult, but fortunately I'll be busy with school, our local poi group, gs.c stuff, and choreographing for the burlesque troupe. i e-mail as much as possible and when i get calls on the insanely rare occasion, i drop whatever i'm doing and sit and talk to him and tell him everything that's been going on. and i'm working on stuff for him to take on the long deployment... tiny photo book, led yo-yo, stuff like that. ^.^

So update... he was only in town for like a week, and I was uber-sick before he left again (this time until November), and he ended up catching what I had which turned out to be some highly contagious form of cold-virus and then he infected the entire submarine.

Uhm, 16 e-mails and like 3 talks on Skype. He's been gone for a month and a half and I'm starting to feel it. Like badly. Really badly. I'm assuming it has to do with the extreme lack of sex and not having the personal space in my dorm room (because my roommate NEVER leaves!) in which to take care of that myself... yeah, sorry if that's TMI, but I'm going a little crazy because all I do is practice or "work" almost every hour of every day and I can't sleep and things are coming back that really shouldn't be coming back and when I do sleep it's always nightmares...

-.- I hope I'm not losing what sanity I had left?

Well people always get snioppy with me and shit and never get into any sort of trouble. So fuck that, I'll be snarky if I want.

And I may not be her, but she sure as hell sounds like the rest of the world and their "love" problems.

4 out of every 5 military marriage ends in divorce here in america.

Sure is bright fucking rays of sunshine in here. (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/biggrin2.gif)

All that matters is his and your personal inner-strength and love. The relationship between you two hinges on that and nothing else.

Despite whatever odds, true love will make it through (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) If not, then it wasn't truly love and you can move on.

True true.

But be aware that you have huge obstacles ahead of you and the only thing I can be absolutely certain of is that it will only get harder. Be prepared for anything.

I did 4 years in the Marines and had 2 serious relationships fall apart. The first one was neither of our faults (she moved to New Zealand) and the second one fell apart because we both were NOT EXPERIENCED with long distance relationships. I am in no way condemning your relationship to eternal damnation, but it requires a great deal of patience. I'm just saying that the feelings are hard to overcome, from what I have seen. But, if you think that he is the one for you then go out and make that sailor smile. The greatest risk in life is not taking one.

P.S.- The best thing, to me, when I was with my first girlfriend (we were together 3 years) was when she would send me letters that she wrote.

For all of you silly pessimists out there, yeah, he's back. We went on our 6 month anniversary last weekend ^.^ only one more deployment to go, and then he's off to undergrad while I'm off to grad school... in the same town ^.^

So screw you people who say it can't be done. 3 months was rough as hell and half the time I felt like death. But good friends + keeping busy = success. Amazing success at that.

And this isn't like everyone else's love problems - most of those involve "oh I like him/her and he/she doesn't like me back". It's a pretty serious relationship that's only gotten stronger. So yeah, it's different than your average bit of trials.

FYI, we're not married. Most marriages in America end in divorce anyways.

congrats, you two! (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) <3

I'm still in the long-distance boat, haha. Have been for almost a year and will continue to be for some time. But it's more than possible as long as you put out the effort & commitment.