[rant]
ok, so I've shown my dad some glowstringing a few times a while ago and the reply I got was: "je ziet eruit als een dansmarietje". That translates to something like: "you look like a dancing girl/Cheerleader" (sorry, I don't know the English word for Dansmarietje so my best bet is chearleader XD). Anyway, this is not the first time that he is/has been negative about me or stuff I know.
If I talk about a pc game, the only reply that I get is something along the lines of: "we used to go camping (no pun intended), not sit behind a screen all day". Or: "you know so much about pc games but you suck at math".
It get's better if he starts about glowstringing, the reply I get is usually the one that I mentioned above, or: "when will you wake up to the real world, what do you think you want to accomplish with this, do you think you will get girls with it?", when I tell him that it is about self expression, he either doesn't reply or he says what I wrote at the beginning.
So I guess it is really nice to know that I'm not the son my father apparantely wanted (he doesn't like the fact that I did the highest level of High school which we have in the Netherlands, I am not good enough on a technical level etc. etc. etc.)
If anyone has some input/advice on how to deal with this than that would be nice, if not, I at least got it of my chest.
[/rant]
Cheers

EDIT:
btw, I did not intend to offend anyone. If anyone is offended by something I wrote here please say so and I'll try to change it and explain why I wrote it.

As a Parent myself im careful how much positive and negative praise i give my son. Too much positive praise and it spoils not enough and we have the situation you are in. Each child is different some require more positive praise to do their best and others thrive under pressure searching for approval. Its up to each parent to get to know their kid well enough to know what works best and when. That being said; We parents can be wrong, we don't always know best but we should always try our best.

No this doesn't solve your problem I'm afraid. but i will tell you this it isn't your fault at all. We all were kids once, we grow up and acquire our own interests sometimes separate from our parents. Its our job as parents to support our kids especially with constructive hobbies. It takes real effort on a parents side to remain influential in a persons life as they grow up. Some parents are too busy with their own lives some are disappointed that their child isn't a mini-me and some never see their kid as anything but a child even when they aren't.

Remember your friends are the family you make yourself. And here at GSC we support you. You dont need anyone's approval to be yourself.

(maybe he's jealous of your mad skillz ;-)

my mad skillz... lol

anyway, he has been this way as long as I can remember, I can't think of a day in which I did not do anything wrong unless I think back to when I was 4 or 5 I guess. Ah well.

I know that people here at gsc support me. It is just difficult when the closest support which you can fully trust is a four hours drive away. I tend to not share my feelings to my other relatives since I don't really fancy my parents knowing how I feel, and I can't really say that I have any people around me at school who truly take what I say seriously...

Keep this in mind. You said you do it for "Self Expression." Remember that. My mom doesn't understand why I do what I do, and she may not appreciate me landing a heli toss, or getting an iso down, but I do. I know my own progress, and I know my motivation comes from bettering myself.

Don't think of me as conceited. I understand where you are coming from. my mom always has high expectations for me, and even when I meet them, she doesn't feel it was good enough. But as I grew, I found that even if people don't understand it, if you put the best effort out you possibly can, push yourself to reach your expectations, and then praise yourself and critique yourself accordingly, that is the important part. I know how much you want to share how amazing the art is with your family and friends, I honestly know that first hand. BUT, keep in mind that as time passes, people become more stubborn and closed minded if they grow in a close minded environment. His disposition seems to be that he expects great things for you, and his qualification for greatness maybe be different that what you or I think is great.

Try to appreciate his angle. He wants you to make sure you have your priorities straight. He wants to know he taught you how to be an adult. If you can re-affirm that in his mind, show him he has done a great job, show him you have a plan for a future, and point out that everyone needs an outlet, and yours is stringing, he might come to appreciate it.

uhm, I think I didn't make that entirely clear, he dislikes my education because it is such a high leveled one, as he put it in Dutch: "een pennelikkers opleiding" (which means something like: "a bureaucrats education" only it isn't meant positively)

My parents divorced just before I turned seven, and I lived almost solely with my mother since I was twelve, so I guess he is trying to make up for some lost years. It still is annoying though.

Well, he is obviously jealous. Let it slide. If he can't appreciate that your experiences make you who you are, then he shouldn't attempt to make up for lost time.

yup jealous of the mad skillz (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/smilewinkgrin.gif)

I think I see his viewpoint. Like others said, he's trying to make sure you have "useful" priorities, and that involves shooting down what he sees as frivolous activities. It sounds like he sees your level (maybe course) of education as impractical or dead-ended.

Hope that helps. message me if you want, not like I have a solution but I know how it feels.

dear tico, it sucks to hear this nobody likes such remarks on something you are proud of.

maybe your father doesn't know how to react positively towards you, it's a form of intiacy that needs to be reached. i don't know if this is the case but it came to mind.

try to let your love to yourself unaffected by this because it's one of the greatest things a person can have it's a base a starting point. this next song is about this and tells a really nice message.
(sorry guys it's in dutch (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) )
harrie jekkers song
keep track of your goals and where you wanna get in life. i've heard a few of these points from you and it is something to be proud of. you are not someone who takes the easy road. you pick the hard road and try to learn from it. there are a lot of people who find themselves unable to take a hard road in life and you can so you can be proud of yourself trust me in this.

Thanks, I lolled at the song (I'm sure all of the non Dutch speaking would to if they could understand it). As for losing the love for myself... that love has deminished for more reasons than just this and it has been doing so for a far longer period of time, so this won't really affect me that much (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
Cheers

i thought about this for a while, and my adive would be try and explain to him that you glowstring for you, and only you. not for money, girls, or even him. you do it because you enjoy it, and you would appreciate his acceptance and respect on the matter, but aren't going to stop just because he doesn't like it.

I'm not sure how your family works, or how you feel about what i said, but that is what i would do.

just say, you might look like a dancing girl, but you're a dancing man

"Mer-man, pop. mer-man! :'(

Yeah, my dad thinks I'm a "queer" because I freehand.

ah what? (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

dansmarietje = dancing majorette, making a dancing girl just perfect of a modern translation (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

Sounds like a bit of culture difference (glowsticking is normal at raves here) and like dad is a bit strict on you! Heh >_> just do what you like. that's what makes you "YOU", you know mate. Overall i think it's amazing to have some people from the land of neders glowsticking! And really wanting to do it too forgetting what others say. Makes one hell of a difference!

yeah i get the same thing from my nino (godfather) and my dad sometimes but i kinda just blow it off cause they would never understand so i try not to bother worrying or getting offended by it as much as i can

deng thats what I was gonna say lol
Glad I read the posts before I said it (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/D.gif)
But yeah, from your dads replies, I'd have to say he sounds kinda jealous.
But cha, it might also be his way of encouraging you
I know when my dad says, "Put down those panzy sticks and grab a wrench"
he really means, "Jesus that trace was smooth, keep it up son"
lol

"Put down those panzy sticks and grab a wrench" is going right next to "Crazy kids and their lightsticks" in my favorite quotes.

I don't glowstick infront of my family anymore. At all. I refuse to let them see it because it's always a negative experience.

It's gotten to the point where it's kind of fun now, because they know I'm using up sticks and ordering more (I pay them the cash and use their credit card), but they don't see my progress like they used to. Sometimes I can tell they feel left out.



One day I will blow their minds with fire poi, to some hawain music, and they'll realize it's a respectable skill. Then they'll never see anything poi related again.

I got a completely different response the first time I showed my parents glowsticking. I don't know if its because they are more open or because I'm very open and close with my family, but I got a lot of praise.

My parents thought it was pretty cool and a good workout. I used to see them pick up my sock poi or glowsticks and mess around at times when they thought I wasn't looking.

But then again my parents have been very supportive of my desicions because of how I portray myself to them and the world.

They watch my videos, they know I don't take drugs and they know all about the world of glowsticking.com.

A bunch of you have met my parents, they might have thought I was a little strange at first the first time they saw it. But after a while I exposed my whole family to it, and taught my cousins how to string and my youngest cousin (well not anymore since last month!) how to conjure. (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)



don't ever pay attention to haters, and let your passion be stopped by your family.

Strangers may think I'm dumb. I've been teased by others before, and I never let it get to me.
GS.C always keeps my spirits high.

-RG