well. ive kinda been seeing this girl for a few months now. shes in the UK and i'm here in damn texas. i like her. she likes me. but everytime we talk about having a relationship she says "i wish you weren't so far away" and-que emo, suicidal thoughts-

we make each other laugh, we love to talk to each other for serious, were almost like the same person,, shes so bright eyed..and..SOMETHING ELSE LOL were both artists, she cosplays, i like to rave. were both crazy as hell. ive done things i've never done before because of her. ive never. EVER. fallen for someone this quick. my thoughts are there shouldn't be a reason for us NOT TO go out.

and there are people where shes at that want her too. she went with this girl about two weeks ago (omg worst time of my life. when she broke up with her it was like the sun coming out on a rainy day) and i dont know why they broke up. i keep wanting to think its because of me, because i want her, and now this other chick wants her and she doens't want to tell me anything because i think she knows how i get when this happens.

i dont want to ask her out because shes in a state of confusion, she says. she hasn't been online for the past three days, so im already very anxious and uncomfortable.

should i go with what my insides are telling me (ASK HER OUT NAO) or wait.....

T_T i dont know what to do about her.

Ok. Local LDR guy here. LDRs (Long Distance Relationships) can and ARE very very difficult. As you pointed out, you guys live ACROSS A SEA. That's by far a very tough snag. My suggestions are to think about these questions:


-Can you see her on a regular basis?
-Can she see you on a regular basis?
-Can you afford it? (Shallow, but true. So many relationships shatter because of money. If you want a detailed explanation, ask me and I'll go through EVERY aspect money affects.)
-Can both of you stay loyal for the extended period of time?
-How much would you realistically sacrifice for her?
-How well does she know, I mean really KNOW, about herself
-How much do YOU know about yourself.

LDR's are for mature people. Simply put, that is the only way to survive the long weeks of seperation. If one member falters, the crack is exponentially larger in an LDR than a normal relationship.

I'm not going to tell you to go for it or not, but make sure that you know it's a huge undertaking.

"When you love someone, it's giving them the power to crush your heart, and having the faith that they won't." This quote applies to all relationships, but I've found first hand that LDRs make this all the more true.

There's one question you really need to ask yourself.

Are you (or her) willing to completely change your life and life plans in order to live with each other in the foreseeable future?

Long distance is tough. I've been involved with people all across the US - from California to Maryland. But I never went out with someone online if there was no possibility of seeing them. All of my (online) relationships had a plan that involved us eventually living near each other. If there's no hope of ever coming together in person, then there's no reason to have the relationship. I don't know how old you are, or how independent you are, but I wouldn't tarnish a good friendship with someone until you guys are older and able to make long-term plans.

DHZ pretty much summed up anything else I could say.

Pretty much, you need to be able to fund a relationship daily. It's like an addiction to coke. You get addicted to being around that person. Love does that. Makes you addicted to being around someone, so much so that you need them right then and there. Otherwise, the withdrawls suck.

Just an illustration.

ouch.

diff country LDR = no phone calls due to long distance charges. leaving u with the computer as the only means of communication. and then u have to deal with the time zone differences.

for example at the moment, my gf is studying abroad in japan. i web cam with her until 5am in the morning (not everyday). but yeah, i imagine u will end up doing the same thing.

as it was mentioned earlier, ill repeat for emphasis that u shud contemplate how frequently u will be able to physically see each other, and if it will really be worth it.

im in a long distance relationship but over seas is a very tough thing do deal with. like i dont get to see my girlfriend very often maybe 2-4 times a month maybe 6 if im really lucky.

money plays a part in transportation and all that but you need to take a second and think about what your going to get your self into. know that if she is all the way over there your going to fight for it and you need to know that she will fight for you too. its a very difficult desicion and you need to make sure that both of you are willing to make that commitment. i was scared to get with my girlfriend then i finally just told her how i felt and that i thought that i loved her and then we got together and now we have been together for 10 months strong and its going very very well.

good luck with your desicions and i hope for the best (IMG:http://www.glowsticking.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

First question, and I gotta ask this.... have you ever even met her?

If you haven't and are forming an interest through the internet and across sea.... well sorry hun that is going to be REAL tough to work out. You don't know her actual persona in person, and until you know that I don't think there is any real chance at a relationship. And a relationship across seas is hard, and if you don't have a basis for the relationship before the distance is started, it will never work out.

LDR's are hard, very hard. And most often they don't work because they don't adequately fulfill what one or both people need in a relationship.

Long distance relationships are WORTH it. It was the most bittersweet experience I've ever had. Being away from your significant other is difficult and you will always miss them and think about them. When you have fights, they won't be fixed easily. When you start questioning each others' trust in the relationship, things will get shaky.. fast! As soon as you start bitching, the relationship will suffer. LDR's are fragile. It will test your relationship to the ultimate level. Everything will be tested -- communication, trust, commitment, how much you care about them, etc. But nothing beats when you see your significant other for the first time in months. Its the best feeling you'll ever get. You'll appreciate every moment you are with them. I RECOMMEND LDR's .. but only if you are ready for the EXTREME roller coaster.