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If you give a girl a promise ring...


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#1 Raver Girl

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Posted 17 June 2006 - 09:48 PM

So my boyfriend got me a promise ring on our one year anniversay.
I love him, I'm crazy about him, and we've touched on the subject of marriage a few times, but decided we are both too young.

But when he surprised me with a promise ring, I was happy that he was as serious as I am about our relationship.

The ring was a lot. Too much I can tell. Considering its white gold and has 3 diamonds in it, I estimate about 400$.

He's never given a girl a promise ring before. In fact his family is ecstatic about it. They alll really like me. I've gone and met all of them, and some of them visit me at work. Its crazy.

My dad likes my boyfriend, so does my aunt and stuff. But my dad is worried. He's like don't get married until you start your career. Cause he figured out how serious we've gotten.

So I wanna know... you know from the fellas.
What does it mean to you if you'd give a girl like me a ring like this?
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Just to you know, see what you guys think.

-RG

#2 Andrei

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Posted 17 June 2006 - 10:29 PM

ohhh you know I gave my gf a promise ring too. We have both discussed about marriage as well but of course we're too young to get married at this time. Althought our relationship makes it like we're married already. To give her a promise ring is to like promise them you'll be there for them when they need you, to take care of them and protect them with your live. Love them until the day they die. Spend every second of your life with this person. My gf is my everything. I've never been this serious in a relatioship with anyone before. I've never got this far in a relationship either. My promise ring to my gf is a promise to her that I will love her forever and I'm very sure about it at this point and that I will take care of her...to cherish her until death do us apart. No one and nothing can replace her. I told her all of this and gave her the ring. It's just a promise that I truly love her and that I won't ever leave her.

#3 Jerrypapers

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 02:31 AM

QUOTE(Romances @ Jun 17 2006, 10:29 PM)  

ohhh you know I gave my gf a promise ring too. We have both discussed about marriage as well but of course we're too young to get married at this time. Althought our relationship makes it like we're married already. To give her a promise ring is to like promise them you'll be there for them when they need you, to take care of them and protect them with your live. Love them until the day they die. Spend every second of your life with this person. My gf is my everything. I've never been this serious in a relatioship with anyone before. I've never got this far in a relationship either. My promise ring to my gf is a promise to her that I will love her forever and I'm very sure about it at this point and that I will take care of her...to cherish her until death do us apart. No one and nothing can replace her. I told her all of this and gave her the ring. It's just a promise that I truly love her and that I won't ever leave her.


Took the words right out of my mouth except for the girlfriend part because I am single right now, and have never given one out but that is what I would give it out for.

tunes.gif

#4 SeVeN

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 09:13 AM

Basically. I'm single right now too, but "Love" & "Promise" are 2 words that should never be taken lightly when it comes to being involved with someone you consider close to you. Too many people throw the words around these days without really taking the time out to think about how it may effect the other emotionally, or what both people have overall. Hopefully one day I'll be able to give one to a special young lady.

#5 GreenKittieKat

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 10:55 AM

a promise ring doesnt even have to be that complicated or serious as "til death do us part" it can simply mean i promise to be always faithful, for as long as you wear that ring. its basically a promise that he wont stray because he considers you to be of wife material, or sees your relationship as having longevity. if he gives it to you on a chain though, heed caution ,its generally a half assed attempt. it means that you are one amoung maybe a few others who he would consider being with.and that hes not ready to make the commitment. the ring is like a pre engagement ring, its to let people know that your taken. but it doesnt work as well as youd think, men these days dont have respect for monogamy. its not your fault guys, its the biological urge top spread your seed, and ensure the survival of your genes tongue.gif

Edited by GreenKittieKat, 18 June 2006 - 10:58 AM.


#6 Spider

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 12:23 PM

I don't know what your boyfriend is like, which could change how relevant my input is, but I'll lend it anyway. First of all, the fact that he waited to give you the ring until your one year anniversary sounds promising (no pun intended). You've had plenty of time to grow together and decide that you really think that your relationship is going to last. The fact that you've already discussed marriage - with the level of maturity that you were able to objectively decide you were too young for it - also suggests that you two have a wonderful level of communication and are probably honest with each other all the time. The expense of the ring may not necessarily be a sign that he is trying to impress or impress upon you the significance of it, but it does mean that he felt strongly and thought about it before buying it for you. Now the ring itself may not be a clearcut message of some pivotal change in the way he is thinking towards you; it could very easily be an indication that he simply wants to continue in the vein that you have been, and thinks that you two will be together for quite some time.

When I got a ring for my girlfriend, it meant just that: that I wanted to continue in the same direction that we were going, that I felt like it was a strong relationship and getting stronger. I used to say it was there to hold her hand whenever I couldn't (we're a cheesy couple smile.gif ) On a small level I used it to show that I was paying attention to her likes and dislikes; she likes jewelry, and she likes it in a certain style, and so that's what I got her. I even managed to get the right size (which she was surprised about tongue.gif) and I got it without asking her specifically what she wanted, what size, etc. The fact that he surprised you with that ring means that he got it for you with a knowlegde of what both of you wanted, instead of having to ask you.

That's what it would mean from me.

#7 Andrei

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 12:47 PM

Yeah that's right. My previous comment was saying that it is like a pre engangement ring. So the ring was somewhat a proposal. I had said that statement because of the way you were saying it but then again I could be wrong since I don't know your boyfriend either. I just gave my opinion on the information I got from you and just explained what I thought. Althought some people do mean the things I said when they give promise rings.

#8 cynicdave

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 01:38 PM

it can mean everything or it may not mean absolutely anything. there is no way to tell whether the promise ring means anything. it depends on the person giving it and the person receiving it.



#9 bigflyinazn

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 06:59 PM

if i was to give a girl something like that, it'd mean, coming from me, that id be honest and faithful and true to her and do anything in my power to keep the relationship strong. but ^ is right too, it can mean a whole lot coming from different people, and stuff. hope for the best!!

btw, <3 the silent hill backround

#10 DPan

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Posted 19 June 2006 - 03:51 AM

Although I think a promise ring's meaning varries from person to person, I think that it's a way of solidifying both of your thoughts. A way to reassure both of you that you are there for each other, that you do love each other, and that you will always be someone the other person can talk to in a time of need no matter what happens or the circumstance.

That's really awesome that your boyfriend got you one though. My girlfriend and I's 2 year anniversary is coming up in August and we actually discussed promise rings. Im all for it, but just strapped for cash at the moment. We've talked about what it would be like to get married at our age, but yeah.....are you crazy? haha. Definatly way to young right here.

Promise rings are a great gift for the serious relationship.

#11 TarO BoI

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Posted 19 June 2006 - 01:42 PM

Yah alot of people have hit the nail on the head as for what I think it's for. I kinda see it as like, a way of saying I want to be with you forever, I'm really serious about this relationship and where I hope it goes, that kinda thing. I see it as like a year or two precursor to the engagement ring. Thats just me though, I think of it like a bunch of levels, Promise, Engagement, Wedding. But to each his/her own.

#12 hi i'm a girl

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Posted 19 June 2006 - 02:07 PM

I basically agree with everything that's been said already. Just make sure that ya'll are both happy with where/how this relationship is going. Its really nice to have a constant reminder of the fact that someone cares about you that deeply...

Hehe and its really pretty ^^ I wish you the best

#13 Unassuming

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Posted 19 June 2006 - 02:29 PM

I don't know about a "promise ring," per se, but I did give my (ex?) girlfriend a ring for our two-year anniversary, two years ago. It was white gold, and it had two hearts on it with diamonds in the middle. Her parents joked around that it was a "placeholder for the engagement ring..." lol. Two years later, she's met several other guys, and well, let's just say things are complicated. We lasted for four years, but now things seem to be just... egh.

You get the idea. At any rate, when I gave that ring, it meant that she meant everything to me, and, I guess in the back of my mind, I did intend to marry her (as much as a sophomore in high school can indend to do such a thing... heh.). Keep in mind that a promise is on both ends; he's making a promise to you, but by accepting it, you're making a promise to him. I know that things can happen to change a relationship; hell, people are always in a state of change. Just try your hardest. The most fragile part of a person tends to be their heart.

BTW, the girl I gave the ring to was my first gf, and I was her first bf. She still wears it, to this day inlove.gif

#14 Raver Girl

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Posted 20 June 2006 - 12:43 PM

Thanks for the replies guys!
Helps me understand it all.

smile.gif

yay i'm happy.

-RG

#15 DPan

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Posted 20 June 2006 - 01:10 PM

That's awesome! I wish you luck because I've been at that one year mark before and it does feel great with someone you truely care about!

#16 PatrickSwayze

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Posted 22 June 2006 - 02:14 AM

If I gave a girl a promise ring, it basically means that she's the world to me and that I love her... but for now, I'm single and don't really seek for one's affection...

#17 Ricerider

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Posted 22 June 2006 - 02:32 AM

I ate a monkey last week... and he told me promise rings are cool and stuff.. but not for this azn.

Congo Rats to you Raver Girl!

#18 Guest_Duck_*

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Posted 23 June 2006 - 08:39 AM

a promise ring is the physical manifestation of the *promise* of love. i view it as kind of a "engaged to be engaged" type thing. but it goes beyond that. it's like, for the first (insert unit of time here) you're dating, it's to get a feel for the other, see if it's worth commiting to. after a while, the guy wants to show the girl that, to him, it's for real. and because of the stigma surrounding guys and commitment, he wants to really show her. so he works his arse off, doesn't tell her where that money's going to, so she thinks he's getting into drugs, he goes out late one night, to department store X, just before closing, in his raincoat, contemplative look on his face as he picks out the *perfect* ring, (you've seen this scene in the movies,) she calls him up and says she wants to talk to him (because she thinks she's gotten involved with the wrong sort of guy but she doesn't tell him that,) he says he'll be over soon, work's keeping him a little later than he thought. drama, suspense, you chick flick lovers are on the edge of your seat, he goes up to her house, she's about to lay it down and boot him out of her life, he opens the box and says "i bought this promise ring for you, because i love you." or some super-cheese line, and her heart melts, and you cry, and they cry, kiss, happy ending, blah-de-blah.

basically, from a hopelessly romantic writer's point of view, a promise ring is a physical manifestation of love, generated by tears, blood, sweat and sacrifice, thereby making it that much more special. somebody loves you so much, they'll buy a fancy ring for you, to make sure you know that it's more than just a bunch of words they call a promise.

#19 SeVeN

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Posted 23 June 2006 - 11:54 AM

lol, seriously, that's a nice picture you painted there, Duck. But it makes sense though, I agree. It's kind of like a stepping stone towards the "real deal" ring. Kind of like saying "we;re not quite at that point yet, but I feel we're pretty close, so here's something almost, if not just as special as an engagement ring to show you how much you really mean to me at this point in our relationship."




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